Your So Pretty

 Your So Pretty-

 I sit here and

I write.

I write.

I write.

You see the smile.

I see the ugliness.

I’ve seen ugliness.

This ugliness stains my heart.

Sears my soul.

Flashes burn me,

I can never let them go.

My pain still fresh.

Like a stain upon my flesh.

I can still hear the whispers.

“Your so pretty”

Lascivious leers

Face smear so creepy.

A touch upon my skin.

Memories border upon my eyelid.

Feeling so putrid.

A feeling I can never rid.

I said “NO”!

I’m sure I screamed so.

Yet you didn’t stop.

My innocence lost.

Cries of anguish

A memory I can’t squish.

My eyes squeeze shut.

I remember your breathe so hot.

Rancid upon my cheek.

I couldn’t cover

My body with a sheet.

My mind went blank.

An abyss I would thank.

But no gratitude

Was ever felt.

Even today as I knelt.

In prayer every day.

As I try to rid the pain.

Violated to the core.

A corruption I want to roar.

My pureness taken.

A soul left taken.

A soul left shaken.

Emptiness fills the eyes.

Empty smiles hold the lies.

My body defiled.

A mind riddled in denial.

A part of me gone.

An incident so wrong.

Scars left faded.

A soul left jaded.

A heart left raided.

Of a memory left shaded.

I can still hear the voice…

“your so pretty”

I know there was no choice.

The flashes come in cadence.

I cry at night thinking.

How can I shake this?

“your so pretty”

“your so pretty”

“your so pretty”

A prelude to a rancid kiss.

A black hole of a nightmarish bliss.

A flashback I will never miss.

My throat clogs.

Memories jog.

Hands clawing.

My body you were mauling.

My mind trying to find the door.

My mind races trying to even the score.

No escape to the roar.

An empty race

As I try to rid the face.

A forbidden entry.

A flashback I see.

Mingled sweat.

A victim caught in a web.

A face left me bare.

I wish I didn’t care.

My body was ripped

My soul so stripped.

A flashback I scorn.

Like a picture so worn.

Left me defeated

And so forlorn.

My past of a memory.

A past left a stain in me.

A sear upon my soul you see.

One that can be set free.

Through prayer

I found favor.

A forgiveness of my danger.

A light I would see later.

My journey of self forgiveness

A hard one.

A forgiveness I don’t frown upon.

Because that memory so long.

I was still saved you see.

One day I will be set free.

And embrace the beauty within me.

For I will one day agree

“Yes!”

“Iam so pretty!”

© Copyright February 22, 2011. By Terri Johnson

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